Deception and love

Have you ever cooked a lavish menu only to see everyone else consume it but you? You may be too overwhelmed or tired because of all of the energy you spent making it. Ever put in lots of efforts to build something for someone only to see them give it to another person? 

We all have been at a place like that at some point. We have poured more than what we can into a relationship, out of love sometimes, out of obligation at other times. I don’t know if giving is wrong or if giving too much is wrong. But again, what is too much when matters of the heart are involved? They say love is selfless. I say, love is selfishness with an intoxication to heal each other that makes it seem saintly. But it is not. A myriad of things flow between the shores of two people when they are bound in a common idea. There is giving, taking and together immersing in the sea of passion. If it was just two bodies that bore themselves naked to each other’s eyes, monogamy would be a widely accepted rule. But alas! We bear our souls naked and intertwine in a way that sometimes the celestial beings are shaken up. It sounds all dreamy and weary and you may want to just slump into a comfortable chair with your legs dangling loosely and ecstasy filled in every nerve of the body. But let me warn you. Matters of the heart are way complex beyond that. What today, feels like yours to cherish and nurture, may be taken away from you at a blink of the eye. 

When that happens, you will feel like someone ripped a big chunk of your heart and dragged it over a road filled with thorns. But relationships are like the coral jasmine flower (Pavazhamalli in Tamil and Parijat in Hindi). It will get its nourishment from one person and yield a part of its blossom to the other. We either never plant it, for its infidelity is inexcusable or make truce with the fact that it’s the characteristic of the flower. I am by no means justifying infidelity. What I mean to say is that the one who grows and nurtures the plant is way above what is done to them. The same creeper that blooms on the neighbour’s courtyard spreads fragrance in your house too. And that is why it is still okay to hate the creeper for what it did but still cherish the fragrance of it.

We have been deceived, wronged in a relationship. It is unfortunate but we all have been at the receiving end of hurt. What we forget however is that a hurt that is not healed creates a ripple effect. A betrayed person when not served justice goes on to hurt others because he or she accepts that to be the norm of the world. It is not and it doesn’t have to be. The bitterness that was injected in you due to a bad relationship need not be the path ahead in life. You can absolve yourself from your past and still be a part of it. You can untangle yourself from a messy past and still be loving and nurturing. You were created with a heart that was meant to spread love even after a thousand cuts have been inflicted on it. You are allowed to bleed and yet be empathetic towards others. Don’t let someone’s mistake take away what makes you, you!

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