Posted On July 14, 2020
I was tired and worn out. I had given too much to people, been too selfless in relationships. I was at the edge of falling off the wagon. That is when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. There, I saw a young woman far matured for her age. Her eyes looked worn out but there was spark of wisdom there. There were creases on her forehead. It was from years of worrying about the people she loved. Her shoulders drooped slightly from carrying the weight of the world. When she saw me looking at her, her lips curved a little on one side and she broke into a smile. Not a smile that you see everyday when you wish someone good morning. Her smile told me that yes, her life was full of trying events and yes, she was tired but she was nowhere near giving up. When she hadn’t given up on people she loved how could she give up on herself?
She told me that she grew up listening to people talk about her toughness that made her believe that she couldn’t break down. People believed that she had the perfect judge of character and that perhaps she was an alien fallen on earth and not a regular human. But she was now on a path to embrace the human in her. That human who falls, fails, gets hurt but gets up every time. Everytime someone shoved her down, she learnt not only to stand up but to do so with enough empathy for the person who pushed her down. She was not weak. She was far stronger than anyone could comprehend.
She was unlearning other’s perceptions of her and learning her perception of self. It was not easy she said. But was pivotal. When she extended a hand to touch my hand, I felt the warmth of my mother, the courage of my grandmother, and the strength of every woman in my family. She is a woman who is fearless, fearless to shed tears, fearless enough to slay her demons. That is when I realized, that I was tired, not broken. That I fell down not gave up. That there was another day and another human to love!