Inside the comparison paradigm

You logged in to one of the many social media applications and somewhere while scrolling down endlessly you got into the comparison paradigm. Someone got married, someone was out for coffee late at night with their lover, someone has yet again set out on a tour. While all you did was slog the entire week only to comeback to an empty house, tired and exhausted. So exhausted that all that you wanted was a cup of coffee served. You begin to think what you did differently or where do your efforts fall short. And very soon you start questioning every bit of your existence. This might sound like a bit of exaggeration to you when you read it. But this is the bitter truth most of us are ignoring. I am proudly including myself in this because I have realized it a earlier stage and I am determined to break this cycle. Remember, every time you wish about what others are having or are doing right you are wasting all the time you have to work towards what you want.

It is very easy to get into this rut of comparison but quite difficult or I must say requires perseverance to get out of it. So, what happens when you compare? Your mind firstly takes note of the fact that someone is doing something what you want to do. The automatic self defense system in your body starts to find reasons to prove how easily that person has got that without much trouble, and intimates you, a sorry soul that you don’t have it although you deserve it. Then you move on to concentrate on all those things that you don’t have and are struggling (apparently) to have. Then you establish a perfect external body of control you can blame so that you are free of guilty. Then there is a sudden burning sensation in your heart, your hormones go for a toss and you are now armed to lash out at any person who wishes to talk to you.

Now, let’s have an alternate look at the situation. You look and acknowledge the fact that someone is having what you don’t have. Citing main two culprits – perfect body and holiday trips. There is rage that has just begun to form within you. You remind yourself not to board that bus. Despite all the effort,  you on a much smaller scale start thinking about what they did to deserve it. Here is where you have to take a big leap. Tell yourself “They deserve it. Even if they don’t it is not my job to pass a judgment on that”. Life is like treasure hunt. There are clues hidden within every emotion. The moment you realize someone has something that is not making you feel good, you have set a new goal for yourself. Now all that you need to do is start working towards it. For instance your friend is having the perfect holiday, you know what you want. Now begin your reverse engineering on that. Come crawling back from that goal to what needs to be done today. Create Funds > Save money > Earn more or spend less > Look out for alternative income sources > Start Now. At that very moment you have established the best internal locus of control. A lot can be achieved when the path ahead is clear. By setting a goal you have progressed greatly on that. Put reminders wherever, however possible to tell yourself that YOU ARE IN CHARGE. 

Going forward remember to take pleasure from what you have achieved. So when you are there on that day sipping some cocktail sitting on that beach in Bahamas, live that moment and pat your back. Never ever forget to tell yourself what you have achieved. If you endlessly keep setting goals and go on achieving it without deriving any happiness, you are defeating the very purpose of setting them. Relative circumstances will always be there. Whether you let them haunt you or feed your soul is what decides how happy you would be. Happiness is all that we live for. Don’t let another person’s post or status decide your definition of it. God has written the best novel where we all are given a different and deep character sketch. Plunge into yourself to see what makes you stand tall and different.

You are an amazing person!

Hi I'm Shriya | I blog on stories that inspire, make us smile and get going through all times

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